• Zenia Platten

The Book's Eye View

You chose me, and I’m flattered. Among all the prettier faces, you chose me. We have a long journey ahead of us, you and I. I’ve done this journey before, dozens of times, but it still frightens me. Sometimes it ends early, others it seems to take an eternity, with the two of us seeing each other only rarely. It’s different every time, and I guess I like that.

I’ll be honest, some of my relationships haven’t been good. I’m not a stranger to being left crumpled at the bottom of the stairs, or stuffed in a dark place with the damp. It’s the risk of this kind of one-sided relationship. I could have lost myself of course, found a hiding spot and waited for a kinder soul. There are risks there too, of never being found, but sometimes I wonder if they might be worth it. Instead, I let them have their way with me.

But now you’ve chosen me. I have to wonder if you’ll be like them. The thought scares me, but I’ll stick around long enough to find out. We have the whole story to get to know each other.

It’s been a few days, but they’ve been busy. We’re well into our journey now. You like to move fast, but I can’t tell if it’s because you’re having fun, or you want it to end. Your grip is rough, too tight. Sometimes you push me too far and I wonder if I’ll ever get bent back into shape. I’m still learning your little sighs and groans. These relationships can’t help but be intimate, but I still can’t read your mind. You spoke about me to your friends once, and they rolled their eyes. Maybe you thought I didn’t know, but you didn’t defend me.

I’m starting to understand you a little better. The noises you make, sighs of pleasure and gasps of surprise, the way you kick your feet when you can’t contain yourself, your enthusiastic touch that I once mistook for rough. We go everywhere together, and I’m proud to be seen with you. You’re not afraid to hold me where others can see. We stay up way too late, you wanting to know my story. We fall asleep, me on your chest. You don’t think I can hear you, but I can. You told your mum you love me. I was thrilled. I love you too.

The relationship is as intense as ever, but it’s going too fast. Only a few pages stand between us and the back cover. Fewer every moment we burn the candle at both ends, but we can’t help it. You need the climax, and I can’t look away from your avid face. I’ll miss you dearly, and I hope you’ll miss me. I have to be strong. I know you’ll read other books, and I hope I’ll have other readers, but this was special. For one magical week you were my whole world, and I was yours. You’re on the last page now. I don’t want to die again, but for you I will.

The cover is closing and it’s getting darker here. Goodbye.

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©2019 by Zenia Platten.